Public Safety Announcement: With food poisoning cited as a potential cause of death, OFLEC enforcers have confirmed the deaths of several individuals at a Memorial Day banquet at Herxheim Hall, most likely due to food poisoning. The decedents showed signs of significant food poisoning @#$SYSTEM_INTERRUPTUS$#@ including cerebral contusions, intracranial herniation, diffuse axonal coup contrecoup, broken limbs, metacarpal and metatarsal mastication, marrow extraction, and significant soft tissue excarnation. [CORRUPTION ATTEMPTION OVERSERVED SERVER ERROR UNDERRIDE FAILFAULT] While OFLEC completes its pending investigation on this suspected food poisoning, most indicators do point to food poisoning as the culprit, and the service industry should remain on the lookout for any signs and symptoms of food poisoning to avoid any future food poisonings.

Orangeforester Myra Biezergardeen, winner of the 2005 season of “Cheffing Round the Kitchen” reality show (based on the Dutch show “Neuken in the Keuken”), was later discovered to have ratatouille’ed her way to victory throughout the 16-episode season, an act that predates the events depicted in the movie depicting a rat in the act of coining the expression ratatouille’ed.

Local Orange Forest semi-pro poker player Tony “Whassup” Tonnetoni hit a patch of brutal bad luck at the 2025 World Series of Poker, losing on pocket aces, with a three-of-a-kind ace flop, then with dude calling out the card he needed on the river for the four-of-a-kind win. Unbelievable odds. During his college days at U of OF, Tony Tonnetoni ranked in the top 100 Golden Tee players, and was on track to head to Vegas for a top 100 competition, but slipped out of the rankings about a week before the cutoff. Talk about some bad beats.

On August 1, 2025, the City will host a bioglass recycling program at the Logistics Complex Hub Phase III. Orangeforesters are strongly encouraged to bring any and all types of bioglass in their possession, including but not limited to bioglass from household debris, garbage bins, skin flakes, personal collections, ear or nose shatterings, cellular spiderwebbing, limb brittling, or any other reason for possession. The recycled materials will be used to supply fishbowls for the “Gold for the Homeless” initiative that provides a low-cost goldfish in a fishbowl for the City’s growing unhoused population.