letters TO the esteemed editor
Dear OFOQ EIC,
Last month, the “Superfun! Dynamic Action Fighter® and Superduperfun Friends vs. the Bad Guys” mobile $OGEEcoin-mining video game released a new champion that costs 30K in-game units to purchase (the equivalent of ~$1,200). But, you gotta understand, this champion is the best defender in the game and a great attacker, so us top-tier players and content creators who rely on the game as our income just had to have her.
This month? The game released a hard counter that totally shuts down last month’s $1.2K champ.
Are we expected to keep paying almost a month’s worth of rent to keep playing this game? I can’t afford to keep spending this much each month. But if I don’t, I’ll drop out of global rankings. What gives?
Some Regards,
Number One Superfun! Fan
EDITOR’S RESPONSE
Dear Number One Superfun! Fan,
We understand your frustrations, but unfortunately, while both the Orator and the video game developer responsible for that Superfun! mobile game are both companies in the Camelcase Capital Portfolio of Office Properties, we here at the Quarterly do not have access to any information that could inform a proper response to your question. All we can say is that in life, you often have to spend money to be good, and you must spend a lot of money to be the best. Great job on the global ranking and best of luck with Superfun!.
Dear Orator,
We’ve gone from having to deal with loser Flaggists [NAME_STRING_CORRECTION: ∞∇0I̶D̶∇∞] Vexers to Subwoko jerkos. What’s the deal? This is some bullshit. Every day I wake up and go to work, working hard on looking for work to work. And we got these total nincompoops and punks and rubblebunkers
What the hell is going on with these people? Are they beyond bedolted? Did they grow up eating bowls of paint chips for breakfast? They’re making me angrier and angrier by the day. And one of these days, I’m just gonna boil over and blow a lid. I gotta go cool down at ICEcamp.
Angrily yours,
The Maddest Max
EDITOR’S RESPONSE
Dear The Maddest Max,
We empathize with your frustrations, your concerns, and your anger. We know that sometimes the world gets heated and we need to blow up. We hear you, we understand you, we are you.
Submit Your Letters to the Esteemed Editor Here: notabot@orangeforestonline.com
